"Your face is so familiar."

A person's name is personal. Everyone wants you to remember his/her name. Remember your business contacts name AT A MINIMUM.

Every time I start a new project, I have an overview folder (physical or digital). On the inside cover or first thing I see digitally, I add each business person's name, telephone number, email & IM address, and his/her (each is always singular) role on the project. It's a general contact list for the project.

Next, I add other important information about EACH business person. What is the top goal he/she wants from the project. Many times that requires a follow-up question to the answer "I want it to work and not cost me much." What this identifies is what is most important to the specific user. It's his or her top priority. Asking the follow-up "why" usually identifies the immediate pain or personal business goal (heck, they want promotions, too).

The above paragraph identified their business drivers. How they see the business and how IT can help them. It is customary for any IT person to ask these high-level basic questions. Requirements Traceability projects actually help you document them and associate them to IT objects, business functions, and so forth. It usually helps the project, not necessarily the business relationship. That is, unless, you uncover their personal reason for the business success the tool is project-based and not business-based. Business-based usually lasts over multiple projects.

Before I end my first meeting with any business representative, I ask them how they want to participate on the project. How do they want to interact with IT? How and how often do they want to be kept informed? What information would they like before a meeting that I ask them to attend? These are relationship building questions. They are the questions that show the person respect for how they prefer to work.

One business person answered with the basic comment, "I like to be left alone." I wrote that in my information about the person. When absolutely necessary, I would send short questions in emails and never more than 2 or 3 a week.

I ran into the person at the deli during the project. I quickly stated, "I know, you want to be left alone." I then turned and walked away. I said it in a jokingl tone (not a derogatory insulting tone) with a big smile on my face. He laughed and gave me a pleasantry, "Have a good lunch."

That afternoon he came by my desk. He wanted me to stop by his office the next day. "It will be brief…after all…I want to be left alone." We both laughed.

Next day, I went by his office and we sat down for an hour. However, it started with thanking me for respecting his time. He had extra time this day and wanted to help me by filling in any blanks or identifying the correct people to get information.

Traders don't like to be bothered during trading hours (or the hour beforhand beforehand). Doctors want to talk to you after they talk with the families about the operation. Never talk to a delivery person the two weeks before Christmas! Never talk to sales people before the end of a quarter (unless they met their quota a few weeks earlier).

Learn to work on the business person's schedule.

Show respect for how the business person needs to work. If they are introverted, converse initially more via emails. If they are extraverted, bring a cup of coffee for them and let them talk to you. Listening builds more rapport. Earn their respect by showing them that you respect their work style and business pressures.

Back to the "I want to be left alone" business person. About a year later, I needed a contact to a colleague of his. I sent him an email stating, "I know you want to be left alone, but I was wondering if you know who…." I got a phone call back and talked with him for about 20 minutes. Why, because I had the reputation of honoring his work style. I also knew that by mentioning his name, it would satisfy his personal driver of providing value to the business.

Now, do you think, if I hadn't written it down, that I would have remembered that he didn't want to be intruded upon unexpectedly? Sorry, no one's memory is that good. Especially when you are meeting (and you should be) someone new continually.

Just imagine all the relationship building my simple honoring of his work style invoked.

By using his name when contacting his colleague, I was helping "I want to be left alone" business person add value first...to me and his colleague.