If you can, take a small metal (eg. stainless steal) bucket and drop one penny in it. Did you hear that sound? Drop another penny and really listen. Now take a quarter and do it. Did you hear a difference? The quarter made a louder sound. Do it again and appreciate the difference. Now throw a penny and then the quarter. Do you have the different sounds in your head? Great! Now I can explain the difference.

I once read an article in some cubical culture section of the news about how the value of a favor is viewed by the asker and the doer. The asker never seems to think it is as big a deal as the doer sees it. The doer wants to help but never feels fully appreciated by the asker. Think of it from the doers perspective. They have to change their plans to help you. Even if the task comes naturally to them, it wasn't in their plans to help. From the asker perspective, he/she knows that it is an easy task but you just need his/her help. Which is why the asker doesn't see it as the real cost.

What is the cost of the favor? The asker sees it as costing only a penny. The doer sees it as a quarter. What the asker must keep in mind is that it doesn't matter what the asker sees as the cost. What matters is the doer perspective.

Take a closer look at your bucket. Every time you do a "favor" you get to put a quarter in your bucket. Every time you ask for a favor, you lose a quarter. How many quarters do you have in your bucket? How many favors do you perform on a weekly basis? Takers (those that always ask but never give back) have very few quarters in their buckets. Givers (those that always give but rarely take back) have a large number of quarters equating to networking-wealth.

From that description, you would think that it is better to always give than receive. It is better to handle all favors and never ask. Well, that isn't quite true. What good is it to have a bucket overflow? You can't carry around the quarters that fell out of the bucket. It also diminishes your value in the receiver's mind. You become the team doormat. The result is that people will continually ask and not be willing to even give you the penny for it. You are also not giving the doer a chance to repay its debt. People feel good when they do things for other people.

Corporate life is a balance of give and take. What is important is to realize that you need a sufficient amount of quarters in your bucket to help you through some tough times. You will need to ask for favors (small or large) to help you get something done (like getting on a different project or job). You have to be a doer for others to build up a nice bucket of quarters. If you don't have any quarters in your bucket, your favors will not be granted.

Where do the pennies come from? From doing for others without being asked; doing something that has little value in the receiver's mind. You, as the giver, may see it worth the quarter but that doesn't matter. See, value is in the eyes of the beholder. Saying, "I gave you the best that I have to offer" is meaningless if the receiver doesn't value what you offered.

Wanting to help someone is a wonderful trait. You just have to make it worth something. To do that, you must offer something the receiver values. Providing something of value to the receiver without them being asked gets you a fifty-cent piece. Now drop that in your bucket and hear that sound. The sound is much louder. It also has a higher worth than a penny and a quarter.

Think about it from your end. Someone does something for you without being asked. They do something that helps you finish a job, gives you insight into a solution, or introduces you to a potential employer. Wouldn't you value that more than someone stopping by with a cup of coffee (especially if you already have a cup on your desk)?

Succeeding at work is not just about doing what you are paid to do. It is providing additional value to your team, colleagues, bosses and company. It is going beyond what is expected of you. It is providing what your team, colleagues, bosses and company view a valuable. (Note that I did not include "you" in that list!)

The success trick is to identify what each person finds of value. To do that, you have to get a little personal with everyone. Understand their needs. Understand what you could do that they would find of value.

• Are you a good editor? Offer to proofread when the person is under the time gun.
• Are you a good organizer? Offer to arrange a team "fun" meeting for a boss that has trouble with the touchy-feely stuff.
• Are you a good listener? Listen to the business problem without solving it. Instead, offer introductions to others that can help them (connections are worth more than personal solving).
• Are you a good speechwriter? Offer to tweak a speech for the boss.
• Are you the PowerPoint queen? Offer to assemble slides for the next big presentation.
• Do you know someone that would be a good contact for your business community? Introduce them!